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The fell moons rise, and in their cold glare emerges a parcel from the dirt. Bloat and gangrene, crimped as if by tourniquet. A dark promise wriggles within. Grip the fibrous handles, feel its jagged soul imprint upon your palm. Now pull! Rend the sinew, tear muscle from bone, hatch their fetid gift! The yoke draws near! Take up the slip and read the words upon its face.
Time to enjoy your lovely joke!
Q: What’s an etiquette teacher’s favourite medieval sim?
Here we are, the final voyage of 2024. This is the last advent calendar entry of PC gaming website Rock Paper Shotgun. Days elapsed: 24. Writers employed: 8.
I hope this hurts.
The fell moons rise, and in their cold glare emerges a parcel from the dirt. Bloat and gangrene, crimped as if by tourniquet. A dark promise wriggles within. Grip the fibrous handles, feel its jagged soul imprint upon your palm. Now pull! Rend the sinew, tear muscle from bone, hatch their fetid gift! The yoke draws near! Take up the slip and read the words upon its face.
Time to enjoy your lovely joke!
Q: How can you tell a soulslike fan has fallen in love with a giant ape?
An ancient tale, often re-told – and that’s just the story of the development studio that made it.
The fell moons rise, and in their cold glare emerges a parcel from the dirt. Bloat and gangrene, crimped as if by tourniquet. A dark promise wriggles within. Grip the fibrous handles, feel its jagged soul imprint upon your palm. Now pull! Rend the sinew, tear muscle from bone, hatch their fetid gift! The yoke draws near! Take up the slip and read the words upon its face.
Time to enjoy your lovely joke!
Q: Why do oil rig workers only drink sparkling water?
It was a rainy day when she walked into my office, hard rain, like stray stones from a truck on the highway hitting your car bonnet. I lit my cyber-cigarette and put my feet on my desk, I don’t know why, I thought it would make me look nonchalant to this strange woman. She wasn’t impressed. “Detective,” she said, glaring at me with eyes like gorgeous tennis balls, “I want to open today’s advent calendar door.” I was confused. “Whaddya wanna do that for, missy?” She sat back, relaxed, and pulled a gun from her purse. “I need to stuff a body into it.”
There’s a slight breeze and a comforting glow coming from the crack’s in today’s calendar door, the sound of merriment and many accents from all over the world. Better join in the campfire revelry, because whoever’s there won’t be staying for long.
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Happy weekend all. Due to the intervention of Dark Powers and also, half the Treehouse already being on holiday, we neglected to do a round-up of staff Xmas plays before signing off for the year. Well, I’m pretty sure nobody did one. I can’t see anything scheduled in the RPS Post-A-Tron, but the RPS Post-A-Tron is an unreliable beast, full of malice and deceit. If I publish this and it turns out we have two, please divide into rival factions and have a comments war over which is the real one. Apologies! Normal service will resume next year.
“A tactically rich turn-based game with some meaty role-playing elements”, was how Staff Sergeant James Archer characterised his Menace hands-on, back in September. The only thing missing from his account of the game was the bread needed to make that rich, meaty concoction a tasty, nourishing sandwich.
And by bread, I of course mean the strategic layer – the parts between the turn-based battles where you pick your next mission, improve your squads, deal with pop-up story events, appraise your standing with each NPC faction, and equip your strike cruiser with auxiliary systems. Developers Overhype have now shared a few details of how it all works. Mmmmm, such malty, yeasty strategicalness.
