Category: Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Life simulation game Inzoi will launch on PC via Steam early access on 28th March 2025, publishers Krafton have announced. Billed as a potential Sims 4 usurper, and equipped with syrupy Unreal Engine 5 visuals, it was originally slated for launch this year.

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Back in the mists of 2021, No Man’s Sky revealed its very own Normandy SR1 space frigate. “The Normandy in No Man’s Sky?” you cry. “Why, that’s a Mass Effect vessel. Some mistake here surely?” 1) My name’s not Shirley, and 2) Indeed it is a Mass Effect ship, but HelloGames struck a time-limited deal with BioWare to create a pilotable version in their own space sim.

“Blast, if only I’d noticed this at the time and acquired one,” you mourn. “Ah, so many years I have wasted.” Be of good cheer, my friend, for No Man’s Sky has a Normandy once again, just in time for the latest N7 Day of assorted Mass Effect celebrations. For the next two weeks, you’ll be able to get a-hold of it by way of a revised version of 2021’s Beachhead Expedition. Tray-tray, away!

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A few months ago, the rumour took root that GTA 6‘s release date would slip back from 2025 to 2026. An anonymous insider averred that studio heads were “worried” about the new open world game’s progress – hence, perhaps, Rockstar’s decision to mandate a full return to in-office work. Pshaw, say publishers Take-Two CEO. They announced a fall 2025 launch in March and have just doubled down on it in their latest financial briefing, with CEO Strauss Zelnick subsequently going on the tellybox to say that Take-Two are “highly confident in the timing”, though he still has nothing to share about GTA 6 on PC.

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Take-Two Interactive have sold their publishing label Private Division to an unnamed party, along with five of Private Division’s “live and unreleased titles”. The GTA 6 publisher have also finally confirmed that they have shut down OlliOlli World and Rollerdrome devs Roll7 together with Kerbal Space Program 2 creators Intercept Games, months after performing mass layoffs at both studios.

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The dominion of hated Super Earth threatens to expand afresh as Arrowhead CEO Johan Pilestedt toys openly with the prospect of Helldivers 2 cross-over games, beginning with tabletop wargame Trench Crusade and extending to, well, take your pick. Arrowhead’s appetite for other licenses appears insatiable. It’s the kind of sheer expansionism you’d expect from Earth’s loathsome regime, whose “managed democracy” propaganda continues to enthrall thousands of hapless disposable imperialists. Pilestedt even wants to make a Fifth Element game! Milla Jovovich is spinning in her grave. Milla Jovovich isn’t dead, you say? Well, that’s good news at least.

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When I was a competitive long-distance runner at school, breath control was paramount. We were never really taught this, mind. It was an art you picked up through practice: how to breathe before the race, saturating your blood with O2 without dizzying yourself; when to permit the shorter, emergency breaths and when to apply restraint; when to deepen your inhales and charge yourself up for an attack on a hill.

And then, how to organise your body around your breath, straightening your posture to expand your lungs without tipping back too far and squandering muscle power; how to breath in time with your stride and the movement of your shoulders, so as to firm up your momentum and shave a miraculous-feeling minute off your finishing time. All this, plus various daft psychological war gambits of my own devising. When overtaking or being overtaken, I used to seal my lips shut on that side and breath through the other corner of my mouth, to make it look like I was hardly out of breath at all.

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Putting aside my natural annoyance at Metal Gear Solid Delta: Snake Eater for almost beating out the Twarhammer series in the headline real estate wars, I am more than a little excited to play. Some days, you simply must feast on a tree frog, and while we still don’t have a solid release date, that day doesn’t feel too far away. Good news for stealth fans, and perhaps gooder news for a dozen strapline writers sweating profusely, soiling themselves in anticipation of using “kept you waiting, huh?”.

Until then, I at least have a steady drip feed of new information to keep me sated, the latest of which is the substantial hint that there’ll be some new dialogue in the game, as per the video below. Alongside that, the previously pseudonymous Suzetta Miñet – who was credited with voicing EVA in MGS3 and Peace Walker – has revealed herself to be Jodi Benson, the voice of Ariel in Disney’s The Little Mermaid. Cheers for the spot, Automaton West.

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Foxhole is one of my favourite games to read about, even if I don’t play it. It’s a massively multiplayer World War 2 game, viewed from above, where battlefield logistics matters as much as aiming and flanking. Its developers have just announced a major new update coming next summer, Foxhole: Airborne, which adds planes to the game for the first time.

Planes, in a topdown MMO? It makes a little more sense if you watch the trailer.

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“Never read the comments,” is a truth much-rehearsed by senior games journalists, but I have long since levelled-up past this axiom and entered into a new world of benevolent narcissism. I always read the comments, for all commenters are my children. They exist to glorify and preserve me in my dotage. True, occasionally my children say things like “I think your writing and opinions are appalling, and that you deserve to be repeatedly run over by a herd of deer”, but it is the nature of children to rebel.

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