Category: Rock, Paper, Shotgun

When I inherited – pardon me, founded Endless Bear Studios at the flickering end of the Roaring Twenties, I had a dream. And that dream was to film Peter Jackson’s The Lord Of The Rings trilogy 30 years before Peter Jackson was born. Its one of many will-be classics I hope to “pre-make”, as it were. But ugh, these writers. There ain’t a single Jackson amongst ’em. I’ve got four on staff right now: one is a gambler, another likes to drink, the third is an incorrigible slacker, and the fourth is a recent hire who can barely use a typewriter. I spoonfed the gambler the rudiments of Spartacus, and he came back with some rancid applesauce about a knight and a criminal mastermind and a village of pixies. I told the tippler to write The Hobbit, and he cooked up a leaden three-hander with no wizard.

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FromSoftware, in their eternal quest to avoid giving us the damn moon already, have released a new character trailer for Elden Ring: Nightreign. This time, it’s the Raider – a decidedly unsubtle chap wielding a large stone lollipop and fond of devastating uppercuts, headbutting knights, and problem drinking. He also has the ability to summon walls. One is used in the trailer as an archery platform slash plunging attack allower. Here’s that trailer.

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Last month, “Mark Corrigan’s Oblivion” Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 got a free barber mode update, and now with yesterday’s release of Patch 1.2.4, you can finally have those RPG barbers shave Henry of Skalitz boiled butter bean bald. Did baldness signify nail-hard bastardry in medieval times, or simply some kind of maledicted scalp leprosy? Hopefully it’s the former. Henry’ll need to look tough to survive the new Hardcore mode.

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I feel like all I’ve been seeing the past few days is people asking if Marathon will be the game that finally brings extraction shooters into the mainstream. No one seems to be quite sure, mostly because it isn’t done or out yet. The thing is, it’s not the only extraction shooter due out this year that’ll put that question to the test, as Arc Raiders is one the way still too. It comes from former Battlefield devs after all, who have found success with their other shooter, The Finals. And earlier today, developer Embark Studios announced that another playtest for Arc Raiders is on the way this month.

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It’s been a little over a year since Palia had its proper launch, and its next big update, the Elderwood Expansion, received a little reveal today. This update is mostly focused on a new area, the titular Elderwood, and it’ll be free for everyone. That doesn’t mean everyone will be able to play it right off the bat though, as it’s designed for higher level players that have already beaten the main story (you can still head there beforehand if you’re impatient).

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RuneScape: Dragonwilds was announced just a couple of weeks ago, and today developer Jagex hosted a livestream where they showed a deep-dive of the game and revealed the game’s release date. Turns out, it’s today! As in right now, today, as in you can go to Steam to buy the game in early access if that’s something you’d be interested in.

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Dear reader, allow me, if you will, a moment of honesty. I truly, wholly did not know that Skull and Bones was still going. Not only is it still going, but yesterday Ubisoft shared a look at the game’s impending second year of updates, so I really missed the boat on this one – pun intended, of course. The first season of the pirate game’s second year has already kicked off, introducing a few new features.

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It turns out you won’t actually be spicing up your life next month, as Funcom have announced that Dune: Awakening is getting a delay. The survival MMO was originally supposed to be launching this coming May 20th, but a Steam post was shared today sharing that its release date has been pushed to June 10th. Those that have the deluxe or ultimate edition on order will still be able to play it a few days earlier, now June 5th.

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Welp, it’s finally happened. After many months of mainly murder related updates, Larian’s stonker of an RPG has at last received its final major content update. Patch 8 – which you can read in full here – brings Photo Mode, full cross play, and 12 new subclasses to Baldur’s Gate 3. That’s one for each playable class, and likely at least six more than I’ll ever reasonably experience. Still, a swarmkeeper ranger sounds very tempting. Yes the bees, is what I always say.

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It was always going to end badly for Thillmann The Braggart. 30 gold, he told the brigands. He’d pay them 30 gold each if they could knock up a stew so disgusting that even he – Kobmanhaven’s most famous glutton – couldn’t keep it down. Whether Thillmann actually had the coin on him, they never found out. Seconds after he raised the first reeking spoon of what he suspected was mostly reindeer shit to his lips, he projectile vomited straight in the face of their leader, and they jumped him.

Death comes quickly in the turn-based tactics and open-world merc work of Battle Brothers, and victory comes hard. Really, it’s the stories of the mercs you hire, and their emergent traits and peccadilloes, that make the game what it is. Still, Thillman was possessed of the sort of cocksure spirit that makes a man far less cognisant of sharp objects than he should be, although you couldn’t fault his reasoning: he was still alive, so as far as fate had proven to him up until now, nothing could kill him. I can only apologise for adding to the bastard’s delusions. The boys and I happened to be passing by at just the right time to save him from those brigands, and he’s been with us ever since.

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