Category: Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Clambering deep out of the Contemplation Pit, where reading reviews or opinions or, god help you, Takes, is forbidden, I am curious to learn how people have been categorising Songs of Silence. Its structure most resembles Songs of Conquest or Heroes of Might and/or Magic, but with little RPG emphasis or base building, and minimal tactical fighting.

Taxonomy is arbitrary and often unimportant at the end of the day, but I am very glad to firmly rule it out of one category: It’s not a bloody card game. It looks like one, sure. You do most things with cards, and characters acquire more cards over time. But even if you absolutely, utterly, and correctly loathe card-based systems, this game has none.

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Early on in Terry Pratchett’s novel The Light Fantastic, a spell is cast to map the world. It begins as a “fireball of occult potentiality,” dangling in the Great Hall of the Unseen University, which evolves into a ghostly “embryo universe.” The embryo expands “lightly as a thought,” with spectral continents “sleeting” through walls and people. It surges across the landscape until the entire population and geography of the Disc is exactly duplicated and enclosed by a shimmering shadow-self of “shining threads that followed every movement.”

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Two men on the board of directors for Epic Games have stepped down from their positions after the US Department of Justice investigated the board under antitrust laws. The pair of directors were originally appointed to Epic’s board by Tencent (who slurp upon a minority stake in the Unreal Engine company) but the United States government took a look at this and said: ah-ah-ah, you’re not allowed to have a director in your boardroom if they’re already fingers-deep in the pie of a competing company. Naughty Tencent! Naughty Epic! And, yes, naughty Riot Games!

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Ahhh, the lap of the ocean is calming isn’t it? And it’s really warm here, too. What’s interesting is that the sounds of the sea are occasionally masked by the sounds of multiple segways. Weird.

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Open that bottle of space champagne, the aliens have been wiped out. At least that’s what the interstellar pilots of Elite Dangerous are celebrating in the galaxy-sized multiplayer space sim. Earlier this month, the Thargoid menace finally landed in the Sol system, putting earth itself under threat for the first time, not to mention other human homeworlds and colonies. This meant players were invited to drop everything and head for home – to embark on one last great stand against the final, desperate, and dangerous alien attacker: a Thargoid Titan called “Cocijo”. Don’t worry, they got him.

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At any given moment I am in the center of a wonderful vortex of skeletons. Bones splash and rattle and burst out of the ground in sharp, horrible spurs. My weakest skeletons, sensing their death coming, explode into fire and shards. My strongest skeletons fight so hard and with such alacrity that upon dying, they drag their spirits together and keep fighting as ghosts for a while. Foul little bone scorpions skitter around on fans of legs made from human hands. Somewhere in the middle, almost invisible among the noise, is the character I am actually playing: Path of Exile 2’s mean-spirited, callous, and gleefully enjoyable Witch.

This is a review in progress. It has to be. Even in its incomplete early access period, Path of Exile 2 is a great sprawling mass of a game. Three meaty acts of a planned six act campaign are followed by a trickier return tour through them, before the absurd endgame kicks into gear and the real work begins. If I came to you having played everything on offer I would be wild-haired, bloodshot-eyed and possessing perfect, incomprehensible knowledge. Let’s compromise: I have toured the dark caverns and the antediluvian crypts. I have been killed by various accumulated nasties. I’ve had a great time.

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“We are a people who honour democracy,” said the dog, scratching himself. “Per our custom, you may drink of our fresh water.” The dog was called Senator Umeshefaat, and he was very civil, even if he was shedding his black and white fur everywhere. We spoke in his home village at dawn. Later, I examined the senator’s personal history more thoroughly and discovered he was “hated by bears for cooking them a rancid meal.” I suppose every politician has their enemies.

That Caves Of Qud creates fun anecdotes out of simple encounters shouldn’t be a surprise. It has had 15 years of early access to establish itself as a small-but-mighty story generating roguelike of repute (there’s a reason it sits deservedly side-by-side with Dwarf Fortress in the same publishing house). After creating many characters, and dying and dying and dying again, I understand why it grips the brain with such fierce glee. It is a machine of grand imagination and adventuresome comedy. A deceptively powerful RPG that isn’t half as obtuse to newcomers as the screenshots make it out to be. Qud’s low-res bark is just a complement to its bite.

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Huh, it’s a little hard to breathe today, don’t you think? Like the air’s a bit thin. Anyway, I have a job I need to get to and there’s this guy who’s going to mentor me on my first day. A guy called Mo, who seems nice but isn’t particularly talkative. Prefers paper and pencil.

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It’s been rumoured for a while that Sony are about to buy Kadokawa Corporation, a monolithic Japanese media conglomerate that means nothing to the bulk of you unless I append the magic words “parent company of Dark Souls developers FromSoftware” and possibly also, “parent company of Spike Chunsoft”. Sony and Kadokawa were reported to be in talks last month, fomenting all sorts of speculation about, say, the PC version of Bloodborne being ritually sacrificed to consecrate the PS6-exclusivity of Dark Souls 4. Now, the pair have emerged from the Cave of Haggling and announced… “a strategic capital and business alliance agreement”. What does this mean? Is it safe to scream yet?

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They say hope is the first step on the road to disappointment, and reader, I’ve made a pretty damn big step. Previously, on my mission to survive S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 2: Heart of Chornobyl with only wild mutants as my weapons, I’d discovered clues that someone else was attempting to tame the Zone’s beastly inhabitants. With one of their electronic tracking collars in hand and absolutely no preexisting knowledge of their location, I set out to find this kindred spirit, only for the Zone to once again slam a door in my face.

A cold, steel, very literal door to boot. It turns out that the scientist’s laboratory is locked up tight, and will remain so until I delve about twenty hours deeper into the faction war that’s bubbled up while I’ve been running around throwing irradiated rats at people in tracksuits. Fine. Fine! But I’m keeping the collar.

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