Category: Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Indiana Jones is a man with hands. Deny this at your own peril. ‘Write what you know’ they say. Indiana Jones And The Great Circle’s writers knew about having hands. They’d picked up a thing or two. Turned the odd key. Raised the occasional entire lemon to their lips and devoured it whole. Clicked a camera button. Placed an object upon a table. They had touched things, and beyond this, they had felt them. They knew that the player could never truly be Indiana Jones, but they could be allowed to make a pretend man who sounded at least 83% like Indiana Jones do things with his hands that very much resemble the sort of things Indiana Jones might do.

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Brendan Greene, the modder-turned-millionaire who designed battle royale game PUBG: Battlegrounds, wants to make his studio’s next game a “metaverse”, although he says he’s wary of using the term. The project is called “Artemis” (at least for now) and you won’t be seeing it any time soon. That’s because the studio is still working on the tech behind it all, and plans to release two other games before it. Meaning it’ll be 10-15 years before it actually comes out.

Greene describes Artemis as an internet-like platform where users create and share things, but doesn’t say specifically what those things might be. He doesn’t know how his user-led “multiverse of worlds” will be moderated, or how it will prevent copyright infringement, or what makes this idea distinct from, say, Roblox. He is nonetheless “full of confidence”.

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It’s frightfully early in the year to be bustling, but I can’t get enough of the crowded streets of ancient “Chinese-style” RPG The Bustling World. The latest trailer is a series of sweeping yet intimate, colourful urban cross-sections, showing dozens of NPCs selling fish, shaking hands on balconies, shouldering barrels, dancing with fans, honing their feng shui, and various other pursuits that allegedly form part of full NPC life simulations. It’s like scrutinising a Hitman level from above, except that all of these people have evolving relationships and sleeping patterns and they might hunt you down if you murder any of their relatives. Me, I just want to play Where’s Wally.

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Ekphrasis is a concept from ancient Greece (who bloody loved a good concept) describing the act of creative writing inspired by a work of art. Is a Ryanair Boeing 737 safety manual art? Well, Johnson A Plane Man has done some ekphrasis with it, so I say yes. It’s a short browser Itch game that chronicles the life and times of a man named Johnson, his love for yellow life vests, his existential feelings of confinement (despite the high number of easily locatable exits), and such emancipatory joys that can only be found in yellow slides.

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Happy new year all! And what better way to kick off another undignified 12 month crawl toward the next Xmas holiday than with the news that one of my favourite dark fantasy storybook extravaganzas, Ghost Of A Tale, is getting a sequel.

The newness of this news is in question, admittedly. Developer Lionel “Seith” Gallat and his team have been working on another helping of haunted mouseketeering since 2022. But this is the first time they’ve properly blogged about it, sharing details of a gruelling switchover to Unreal Engine 5 and a couple of new screens. They still haven’t updated the title to make the obvious pun, but perhaps a title as pungent with whimsy as “Ghost Of A Tail” is beyond the trumpeted capabilities of Unreal Engine 5.

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My Selection Box picks are of three games that I did not vote for in the Advent Calendar. Two of them didn’t come out this year, which is an easy disqualification, but the reality is that I also don’t think any of them truly deserve a place in one of those hallowed chambers.

Yet all three are games that in some way defined my year, and I feel affection for each of them. Let me explain why.

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The fell moons rise, and in their cold glare emerges a parcel from the dirt. Bloat and gangrene, crimped as if by tourniquet. A dark promise wriggles within. Grip the fibrous handles, feel its jagged soul imprint upon your palm. Now pull! Rend the sinew, tear muscle from bone, hatch their fetid gift! The yoke draws near! Take up the slip and read the words upon its face.

Time to enjoy your lovely joke!

Q: What did the Sekiro Fan Club say to the bartender at their Christmas party?

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Unlike a lot of the team I’d imagine, my opinion is this: I thought the year was quite middling for games. Or at least, it was middling for my own personal taste, which is quite unsavoury at the best of times. Most of my best picks made it into the calendar proper, but a couple didn’t. One I hadn’t even played properly until after the vote, and the other? The other is a flawed pick, but one that I couldn’t stop thinking about.

Anyway, hope you all have a restful Xmas folks and a cracking new year. I hope Santa bought you some nice warm socks or a chocolate orange so dense, you could tee it off at your local golf club.

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The fell moons rise, and in their cold glare emerges a parcel from the dirt. Bloat and gangrene, crimped as if by tourniquet. A dark promise wriggles within. Grip the fibrous handles, feel its jagged soul imprint upon your palm. Now pull! Rend the sinew, tear muscle from bone, hatch their fetid gift! The yoke draws near! Take up the slip and read the words upon its face.

Time to enjoy your lovely joke!

Q: What game does Geoff Keighley play now that E3 is gone forever?

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I’m quite proud of the delights that we packed behind each door of the Advent Calendar this year, to be honest. All my major choices are in there, plus a few more that I haven’t played but I’d watched other people play, and had a swell time doing so. Still, there are always a handful that don’t quite make the cut, but still deserve a heaped Christmas plateful of praise at year’s end. So here’s my selection box, my bonus games of the year for 2024. It’s an unusually diverse triad this time.

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