Monster Train 2 rolls up with a release date

The makers of cardy roguelike Monster Train 2 announced a release date yesterday, revealing that it’ll be pulling into Steam libraries and honking its big “all aboard” horn in less than two months. Do you have the capacity to allow another deckbuilder into the overcrowded dining car of your brain? I probably don’t. But I do have fond memories of the first game’s crunchy runs and over-the-top card combos. Hmmm, maybe another rail trip or two hundred would be nice.

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Schedule I creator seems to have vastly undersold how much content is in his new Steam hit

There are few things more heartwarming than a solo developer seeing breakout success, especially if their game is a wholesome testament to community spirit, entrepreneurship, and innovative street cleaning solutions like Schedule I. Pretty close, though, is a solo developer pulling a ‘Miyazaki lying about Elden Ring‘, and underselling just how big their game actually is in the run-up to release.

Developer Tyler has been updating the bud flinging simulator steadily throughout the demo release and into the current early access, and they’ve also got a roadmap over at Trello here (featuring: raids, parkour, jukeboxes, and controller support among other things). Some of the most relevant communication is actually in the Steam forums though. Tyler revealed yesterday that he’s currently working on getting the game Steam Deck verified. It’s also where he first revealed the full list of planned sellables that are now in the roadmap (Marijuana, Meth, Cocaine, Shrooms, MDMA, and delicious + cool Heroin), with plans to take community suggestions once they’re all in.

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We need some better terms for GenAI output – “slop” is too benign

Earlier this month, Snail Games put out a widely and justifiably clowned-on genAI trailer for Ark: Survival Evolved‘s Aquatica DLC. Much reporting on the incident, including my own, used some variation of “slop” in the headline.

This has likely been true for some time, but it made me notice that ‘slop’ had evolved from a common adjective into the realm of de facto terminology. If you dislike GenAI, you refer to its output as ‘slop’. It’s become lexi-canonical.

I think we can do better. “Slop” evokes a tepid cylinder of condensed cream of mushroom soup, glumly wibbling in a chipped bowl. When I think of GenAI, I picture something closer to tropical insects laying eggs beneath soft flesh of victims. There’s something parasitical and sinister about flaying the skin of artists who’ve explicitly spoken out against GenAI and then gleefully parading around in that stolen flesh. Slop sounds like Soft sounds like Plop sounds like Globule. It slides down too easy; gets off too lightly.

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The Mosquito Gang pits four blood-sucking insect players against a human who just wants to do the dishes

Every year, the fruit flies and mosquitoes return to my kitchen, drawn to the illicit aroma of unlidded pasta sauce and the rank embroidery of carbonised toast around my cooker. Every year, I attempt to remove them non-violently by building intricate traps out of vinegar bottles, or performing slow-motion kung fu punches with a jug.

My inability to keep the winged hoodlums at bay has alienated me from my so-called friends, but on the plus side, it has also equipped me to play The Mosquito Gang, an asymmetrical multiplayer affair in which one, regular-sized human player attempts to carry out various domestic tasks while four, tiny mosquito players attempt to suck their blood.

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Stardew Valley Baldur’s Gate 3 mod back online after D&D owners “mistakenly” send a copyright strike

Dungeons & Dragons company Wizards Of The Coast have apologised for “mistakenly” sending a legal takedown to the creator of a free Stardew Valley mod that adds a village inspired by and featuring characters from Baldur’s Gate 3. The mod has attracted praise from Larian CEO Swen Vincke, who was naturally a bit piqued when it was taken offline.

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Dwarf Fortress creator toys with the idea of an Elf Fortress

Dwarf Fortress co-creator and programmer Tarn Adams has made fleeting, whimsical allusion to the possibility of an Elf Fortress game in a new interview – a fleeting, whimsical allusion I will now pounce on and make an enormous deal of, because my goodness, man, you can’t just say “Elf Fortress” and walk off whistling into the sunset.

The topic arose during a discussion of why fantasy dwarves are a “fortuitous” archetype for a maddeningly system-driven game like Dwarf Fortress, in which half the fun is enjoying the tunnel vision of characters who will cheerfully neglect their duties and doom their brethren because, for example, they’re obsessed with crafting a mug that menaces with spikes of bituminous coal and alpaca wool. According to Adams, this is relatably “human”, though he muddies things intriguingly by dropping a reference to androids, and allows to weave stories around technical eccentricities and outright bugs, which can be read as instances of “dwarfy” fixation and excess. Elves? They don’t work the same way.

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The best gaming SSD deals in Amazon’s Spring Sale

I’ve hit the install cap on my storage drive more times than I’ve rage-quit in Apex. At some point, deleting a 90GB game just to download another becomes a sad cycle of SSD suffering. So yeah, when a bunch of top-tier M.2 drives go on sale, I pay attention. Amazon’s Spring Sale has been great for PC gaming deals, but it’s also the last day of the sale as well, so don’t delay on these latest price drops.

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RuneScape returns as an open world survival RPG in which you hunt a Dragon Queen

Jagex have announced RuneScape: Dragonwilds, a new open world co-operative survival game set in the same fantasy world as their ancient MMO. It runs on Unreal Engine 5, looks a bit like Valheim and Enshrouded, and will launch into early access this spring. Dragonwilds is set on the continent of Ashenfall, a wild place featuring dragons, and your overall goal is to “slay the Dragon Queen”.

I’m going to make the obvious prediction here: you will spend much more time in Ashenfall chopping down trees and composing their delicious, grainy innards into barn doors than chopping down any dragons, regal or otherwise. It’s a survival game, after all. The ratio of dragons to logging and carpentry in the first screenshots is a nail-biting 1:1 – if it weren’t for that subtitle, I might have assumed this to be a game about woodlands management with optional Smaug-bashing QTEs. Rather than dragon-felling cantrips, the announcement release gives prominent mention to a spell for summoning spectral axes to chop trees down for you, which feels a bit like a car salesman leading with the option to just buy a train ticket instead. Here’s the announcement trailer.

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