Category: Rock, Paper, Shotgun

The long-running chief of the Tekken series, Katsuhiro Harada, once tried to convince KFC to let him use Colonel Sanders as a character in the fighting game, according to an interview with TheGamer. “[They] weren’t very open to the idea,” added game designer Michael Murray, who sat in on the interview. “[Colonel Sanders] appeared in games after that. So maybe it was just him fighting against someone [that] was posing a problem for them.”

Never mind, Harada. Here’s a few other corporate characters you could try to squeeze into Tekken 8.

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Something feels off. I’ve brought an utterly improbable Champions League title to Aston Villa, built an enviable Ultimate Team and developed a formation that keeps at least outright humiliation at bay in online matches… And yet, my heart isn’t bursting with the joy of joga bonito. This must be how Guardiola feels, popping onto the pitch to celebrate his annual Prem title with the latest batch of ruthlessly efficient, lab-grown wonderkids and pushing down the feeling that this one doesn’t feel quite as special as the first.

That is to say, EA Sports FC25 is a bit like FC24. Which was quite a lot like FIFAs 21-23, which had a lot in common with the FIFAs our ancient ancestors used to play by the fireside in their primitive tribal dwellings. There are noticeable additions – particularly new tactics controls and a 5v5 Rush mode – and I’m glad they’re here. But as much as they contribute towards a continuously compelling suite of foot-to-ball, they can’t quite dislodge the nagging feeling that this shouldn’t be an annual, full-price release anymore.

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It’s been the best part of a decade since Blizzard, developers of StarCraft and WarCraft, released a new real-time strategy game, but not for want of enthusiasm from certain Blizzard developers. According to a report, former StarCraft 2 production director Tim Morten and unnamed accomplices pitched several RTS projects to higher-ups at Activision-Blizzard, before Morten jumped ship to co-found Stormgate creators Frost Giant in 2020. These pitches included WarCraft 4, as you’d expect, and also a Call Of Duty RTS, as you’d probably also expect, though seemingly no new StarCraft.

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Despite his cinephile tendencies, one thing you can’t accuse Kojima of is being precious about how people experience his work. Would Scorsese release eight minutes of a film chopped up into two minute chunks on Xitter, to be experienced fractured and contextless to anyone who didn’t tune into the Tokyo Game Show? Would Scorsese have the chutzpah to call a character Head Viceman or Tempted Christman? I doubt it. Irishman doesn’t count. It’s Dollman’s time now anyway. Let’s have a look at the new Death Stranding 2 scenes then. Watch them on your phone for added kino.

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Hello reader who is also a reader, and welcome back to Booked For The Week – our regular Sunday chat with a selection of cool industry folks about books! I’m currently reading Brendan Keogh’s The Videogame Industry Does Not Exist. It’s interesting enough that I’m only mildly pissed off about the added academic book tax. Paying the academic price is funny if you say it like paying the iron price. Although, again, not quite funny enough to soothe my awful uni flashbacks of books that cost a week’s worth of groceries each. This week, it’s writer on Tomb Raider, Mirror’s Edge, BioShock Infinite plus loads more, and host of BBC Radio’s Mythical Creatures – Rhianna Pratchett! Cheers Rhianna! Mind if we have a nose at your bookshelf?

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Rogue Flight is an arcade space combat game with some StarFox somewhere in its DNA, “inspired by the landmark style of ’80s and ’90s prestige anime”, also known as “the only good anime.” It’s due for release later this year and there’s an announcement trailer below.

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Mojang want to release smaller updates more frequently for Minecraft, instead of one major update each summer. This evening’s Minecraft Live stream detailed the Bravery And Bundles update, coming next, but also another update to follow in the next few months. A creepy update.

It doesn’t have a name yet, but it’ll add The Pale Garden, a new biome of eerie, grey trees and hanging moss that’s quiet during the day, but which at night is inhabited by a new mob, the Creaking.

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I must confess, it was not till this very hour that I envisaged the possibility of an RPG party consisting exclusively of clowns. There’s a fine tradition of clown characters in RPGs – Sylvando from Dragon Quest XI, Harle from Chrono Cross, the Jester in Darkest Dungeon – but a whole party’s worth? The full big top? The maximum cabaret? Madness! Delightful madness! Here’s the trailer for Clowned King, the next game from Moonana, developer of the colourful and melodious Keylocker. I like it better than a custard pie full of razorblades. I like most things better than a custard pie full of razorblades, but this comes reasonably high up that list.

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The beauty of cards is that they can be anything. You can slap together a working game with them in a couple of minutes. Take 12 blanks, doodle some faces and landscapes, and lo, you have a procedural narrative generator. Make some duplicates, invent a few rules and lo, you have systems.

Conversely, the great drawback of cards – especially in those roguelite deckbuilders people have been churning out since Slay The Spire – is that everything can be reduced to them. For example: last night, I played a round of Fungi with my partner, Fungi being a charming tabletop foraging sim in which you gather scrumptious chantarelles and boletus from the forest floor. This morning I resumed playing Breachway, out now in early access, in which you guide a starship through a series of wartorn solar systems, with battles unfolding as a turn-based exchange of cards corresponding to ship components.

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As befits the “very normal gardening game” that puzzly mystery box Grunn winkingly bills itself as, the first tool I obtained was a pair of shears. The second tool I obtained was a trumpet. It doesn’t really work like a trumpet, and it does things no regular trumpet could or should do. I got a trowel next. Here’s the thing about the trowel: it’s a pretty good trowel. Nothing fancy. But recently, I keep digging up… objects. Objects most peculiar. I’ve got the weekend to sort this garden, and a cosy little shed to sleep in, so I really should just get on with it. Again, though, I must reiterate: I keep digging up… objects.

I go to clean some rubbish from the bathroom. I interact with the mirror and the game says: “You do not see anything in the mirror”. I take a note that says: I do not see anything in the mirror. I check the game again and no, I still do not see anything in the mirror. Sure it’s fine. Just a shit mirror, probably. They should get it replaced. What good is a mirror you can’t see anything in?

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