The first RPS Christmas Cracker 2024

The fell moons rise, and in their cold glare emerges a parcel from the dirt. Bloat and gangrene, crimped as if by tourniquet. A dark promise wriggles within. Grip the fibrous handles, feel its jagged soul imprint upon your palm. Now pull! Rend the sinew, tear muscle from bone, hatch their fetid gift! The yoke draws near! Take up the slip and read the words upon its face.

Time to enjoy your lovely joke!

Q: Why do oil rig workers only drink sparkling water?

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The RPS Advent Calendar 2024, December 22nd

It was a rainy day when she walked into my office, hard rain, like stray stones from a truck on the highway hitting your car bonnet. I lit my cyber-cigarette and put my feet on my desk, I don’t know why, I thought it would make me look nonchalant to this strange woman. She wasn’t impressed. “Detective,” she said, glaring at me with eyes like gorgeous tennis balls, “I want to open today’s advent calendar door.” I was confused. “Whaddya wanna do that for, missy?” She sat back, relaxed, and pulled a gun from her purse. “I need to stuff a body into it.”

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What are we all playing this holiday?

Happy weekend all. Due to the intervention of Dark Powers and also, half the Treehouse already being on holiday, we neglected to do a round-up of staff Xmas plays before signing off for the year. Well, I’m pretty sure nobody did one. I can’t see anything scheduled in the RPS Post-A-Tron, but the RPS Post-A-Tron is an unreliable beast, full of malice and deceit. If I publish this and it turns out we have two, please divide into rival factions and have a comments war over which is the real one. Apologies! Normal service will resume next year.

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Here’s how the strategy layer works in Menace, the turn-based squad combat RPG from the Battle Brothers devs

“A tactically rich turn-based game with some meaty role-playing elements”, was how Staff Sergeant James Archer characterised his Menace hands-on, back in September. The only thing missing from his account of the game was the bread needed to make that rich, meaty concoction a tasty, nourishing sandwich.

And by bread, I of course mean the strategic layer – the parts between the turn-based battles where you pick your next mission, improve your squads, deal with pop-up story events, appraise your standing with each NPC faction, and equip your strike cruiser with auxiliary systems. Developers Overhype have now shared a few details of how it all works. Mmmmm, such malty, yeasty strategicalness.

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Rally Point: Oh phew, Songs of Silence is only pretending to be a card game

Clambering deep out of the Contemplation Pit, where reading reviews or opinions or, god help you, Takes, is forbidden, I am curious to learn how people have been categorising Songs of Silence. Its structure most resembles Songs of Conquest or Heroes of Might and/or Magic, but with little RPG emphasis or base building, and minimal tactical fighting.

Taxonomy is arbitrary and often unimportant at the end of the day, but I am very glad to firmly rule it out of one category: It’s not a bloody card game. It looks like one, sure. You do most things with cards, and characters acquire more cards over time. But even if you absolutely, utterly, and correctly loathe card-based systems, this game has none.

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Microsoft Flight Simulator and the quest to replace Earth

Early on in Terry Pratchett’s novel The Light Fantastic, a spell is cast to map the world. It begins as a “fireball of occult potentiality,” dangling in the Great Hall of the Unseen University, which evolves into a ghostly “embryo universe.” The embryo expands “lightly as a thought,” with spectral continents “sleeting” through walls and people. It surges across the landscape until the entire population and geography of the Disc is exactly duplicated and enclosed by a shimmering shadow-self of “shining threads that followed every movement.”

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Two Epic Games directors step down after US Department of Justice investigate games companies under antitrust laws

Two men on the board of directors for Epic Games have stepped down from their positions after the US Department of Justice investigated the board under antitrust laws. The pair of directors were originally appointed to Epic’s board by Tencent (who slurp upon a minority stake in the Unreal Engine company) but the United States government took a look at this and said: ah-ah-ah, you’re not allowed to have a director in your boardroom if they’re already fingers-deep in the pie of a competing company. Naughty Tencent! Naughty Epic! And, yes, naughty Riot Games!

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